TOP OFF THE TEA…IT LUBRICATES THE GRAY MATTER

There were a number of unfortunate events last night within the models studio.
I think I’ll start by telling you the root of all evil was tea. Julia wanted late afternoon tea, of course, but didn’t quite know how to use our 500 year old stove.
Provided to us prior to our move-in was one pot, a few plates, 5 forks, two spoons, a garlic crusher, two mugs, aaaand one water glass. Where they computed the amount of dishes to supply for 3 people is beyond me! But I’ve made the assumption the pot, plates, forks, spoons, mugs, garlic crusher, water glass, aaaand stove were bought at the same time. Our not-so- modern 500 year old appliances, specifically the stove and pot, weren’t going to make the water boil. She asked me for some help. Walking over there, I couldnt help but keep asking myself the same question, “How many models does it take to make a cup of tea?
I was pretty certain my handywoman skills were enough to figure out this fine antique piece of shit.
I tried all the following…
Filled the pot with tea cup sized portion
Set pot on rusty, black, and brown stove burner
Flipped One switch up… Waited…nope!
Another switch up…waited…nope!
And vice versa…waited…NOPE!
(And yes, just in case you were wondering, we did both stand there starring at the water for quite some time in silence waiting for it to boil)
Unfortunately I failed! (Sorry Dad) <he’s the best handyman in the whole wide world>

When we thought all hope for tea was lost…Eureka!
 I happened to find an old electric tea kettle in the closet. Lucky for us it was only about 200 years old.

Finally! Julia would get to proceed with her late afternoon tea ritual…
Or so I thought..

After all my hard efforts,
I decided to lay down on my bottom bunk. Which from here on out, Is my new afternoon ritual. (I felt left out without one in my agenda too)

Zip zap caaaaboooom!!!!!
Ahhhh!!!
 (I was going to use lady robotic voice here to translate Julia’s scream for you, but Russians sound the same)

“Ah wah wuz zat?!”

Umm…well obviously…
 ”I think that was your tea kettle”

My natural reaction to chaos and disaster is to call for help. I blindly sorted through my things to find my brand spankin’ new Greek cellular. Miraculously I didn’t need the phone translated, and dialed Kate’s number.
Kate is our manager/Grecian mother/ agent/ translator/ navigation system/aaaaand 24 hour emergency contact.
(Just as a quick reminder, All names have been changed to protect the identities of the people named)

I threw the phone to Julia, telling her that it’s her tea kettle, so she needs to fix it. Obliviously I threw it to her in the dark. Now just so you know…All my previous experience in sports came into play at that very moment, and I hit her in the FACE!!!
(nah, just kidding…sounded more dramatic, but it was really just ever so slightly tossed perfectly into her lap)

“ah, key-ate! Zee power eeze out! Aye don know how eat happen!”

Pfff… Of course she did! It was for her damn tea!

Listening to the pathetic explanation, I realized it was probably because the girls didn’t have lady robotic voice from the itranslate app to help relay their conversation. (Like a good roomie, I gave Julia the benefit of the doubt)
I decided it was time for a professional to handle the situation, so I stepped up to the challenge.

“Hi Kate. So Julia plugged the electronic tea kettle into a socket that already had five other plugs in the extension cord, and set it on top of the stove. And the stove was on.”

After the breathtaking finale of tea kettle fireworks….we had no electricity, water, or electrician for 12 hours!

So, “How many models does it take to make a cup of tea?”
-TWO

Julia hasn’t had any tea for a week…

This was the man Julia bought her tea from at the Farmer’s Market


Moral of the story…
Tea is not my cup of coffee!

Have you ever watched a foreign film and not actually read the subtitles, but only the person&#8217;s mouth moving with weird words spilling out of it? If not, you should try it.[Preferably with a little help from some medicinal marijuana.(Because obviously, &#8220;it&#8217;s god&#8217;s gift to the world, and Brings peace when used wisely.&#8221;) You&#8217;ll feel more at peace with your unfortunate situation at hand]&lt;reference listed below for those that disagree with making it legal&gt; I was Living a movie, but virtually within a film not #1 on my Netflix list of favorites.                                America&#8217;s Next Top Model                                             The movieStarring: Julia, Masha, and Asia (Plus 2 Londoners by 3pm Greek time tomorrow).Scene: in a one roomed studio with an RV-like shower, two bunk beds, and a 500 year old stove.(All names have been changed to protect the identities of the people named) Julia speaks English and Russian. Masha speaks Russian&#8230; I speak English&#8230;And a few phrases of Dutch, Spanish, Italian, French, Japanese, Chinese, Flemish, Greek, Turkish aaaaaaaaaaaaand Native American. But, sadly, Russian hasn&#8217;t made my extensive list of language phrases learned.(excluding &#8220;dah&#8221; due to previous misuse of its meaning in past occurrences) &#8220;Mahon dirndls Abel  govnó, ō fó &#8220; The misunderstood Gossip, chit chat, and blah blah blahs that went on for hours started getting old.&lt;reference listed below for those that also haven&#8217;t added Russian to their list of language phrases learned&gt; In an attempt to help poor Julia with the awful and tiring job of &#8220;being our living translator&#8221;, and my feeling of being left out, I ingeniously downloaded itranslate.&lt;reference to download listed below for those that also find themselves living with one, of two, Russian models that don&#8217;t speak English and want to feel a part of their conversations&gt; We three waited with anticipation in silence for the itranslate to download. Then we gave the 4&#160;1/2 star rated app a go. Before we started getting to know each other, I felt the app needed to warm up, so I started with simple statements such as, &#8220;Hi my name is Asia&#8221;, and &#8220;How are you?&#8221; After the lady robotic voice successfully spoke aloud the translations to Masha, I felt it warm enough to reverse translations. So Like a good Roomie, I shared the app with her. But of course before I handed my phone over to a stranger, I had to explain how it worked.  Unaware and Out of habit, I explained without lady robot voice. Blonde moment! I defeated the purpose of downloading the app in the first place&#8230;I made the situation right by using the very helpful assistance of lady robot voice&#8230;.App Function fail!
&lt;refer to photo posted above if you do not have the correct Model Mad Gab answer&gt;                TO BE CONTINUED&#8230;Bibliography:Reason to legalize Weed definition:http://m.urbandictionary.com/#define?term=weedRegularly used Russian statement translation:http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1535768 Where to download your own malfunctioning itranslate App: Apple App Store

Have you ever watched a foreign film and not actually read the subtitles,
but only the person’s mouth moving with weird words spilling out of it?

If not, you should try it.[Preferably with a little help from some medicinal marijuana.(Because obviously, “it’s god’s gift to the world, and Brings peace when used wisely.”) You’ll feel more at peace with your unfortunate situation at hand]
<reference listed below for those that disagree with making it legal>

I was Living a movie, but virtually within a film not #1 on my Netflix list of favorites.
                               America’s Next Top Model
                                            The movie
Starring: Julia, Masha, and Asia (Plus 2 Londoners by 3pm Greek time tomorrow).
Scene: in a one roomed studio with an RV-like shower, two bunk beds, and a 500 year old stove.
(All names have been changed to protect the identities of the people named)

Julia speaks English and Russian.
Masha speaks Russian…
I speak English…And a few phrases of Dutch,
Spanish, Italian, French, Japanese, Chinese, Flemish, Greek, Turkish aaaaaaaaaaaaand Native American.
But, sadly, Russian hasn’t made my extensive list of language phrases learned.
(excluding “dah” due to previous misuse of its meaning in past occurrences)

“Mahon dirndls Abel  govnó, ō fó “
The misunderstood Gossip, chit chat, and blah blah blahs
that went on for hours started getting old.
<reference listed below for those that also haven’t added Russian to their list of language phrases learned>
In an attempt to help poor Julia with the awful and tiring job of
“being our living translator”, and my feeling of being left out,
I ingeniously downloaded itranslate.
<reference to download listed below for those that also find themselves living with one, of two, Russian models that don’t speak English and want to feel a part of their conversations>

We three waited with anticipation in silence for the itranslate to download. Then we gave the 4 1/2 star rated app a go. Before we started getting to know each other, I felt the app needed to warm up, so I started with simple statements such as, “Hi my name is Asia”, and “How are you?”
After the lady robotic voice successfully spoke aloud the translations to Masha, I felt it warm enough to reverse translations. So Like a good Roomie, I shared the app with her. But of course before I handed my phone over to a stranger, I had to explain how it worked.  Unaware and Out of habit, I explained without lady robot voice. Blonde moment! I defeated the purpose of downloading the app in the first place…I made the situation right by using the very helpful assistance of lady robot voice….

App Function fail!

<refer to photo posted above if you do not have the correct Model Mad Gab answer>


               TO BE CONTINUED…


Bibliography:

Reason to legalize Weed definition:
http://m.urbandictionary.com/#define?term=weed

Regularly used Russian statement translation:
http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1535768

Where to download your own malfunctioning itranslate App:
Apple App Store

A Russian, Greek, and American, oh my!


I&#8217;m late! I&#8217;m late! Im Late for my very first casting!

My sense of direction isn&#8217;t something I brag about, nor do I rely on the lack thereof in any circumstance. I get about wonderfully with my navigation system, phone, map quest, and when worse comes to worse, asking someone along the way. There was no worries about losing my way, until I got lost in a foreign country with no navigation system, phone, map quest, or English speaking person to ask along the way.

I&#8217;m all about overcoming your weaknesses, but honestly, at least one of the previously used mechanisms could&#8217;ve been spared for my first time EVER on the public transit systems in Greece! Right?

Directions given to me were as follows, 

"Move to right immediate out of apartment. Take bus 154/A4/B4/171/A3 or B3 and get off at "Agios Dimitrios. Get off bus and to right the metro you take Agios Dimitrios to metemorfisi. Then follow directions on map attached." (don&#8217;t forget this is the English translation, the street signs however, aren&#8217;t so generous) 

Julia, who just arrived from Istanbul, and I had to blindly figure our way throughout greece to get to a couple of castings. With such general directions, as stated above, lost was an understatement. I couldn&#8217;t help but ask myself the same question over and over inside my head, 
&#8220;How many models does it take to go the scenic route?!&#8221; 
And scenic it was! Our tour, for two, even included a side street pullover emergency cigarette break for the bus driver. Julia and I, the ONLY 2 passengers on the bus, sat there saying nothing. Not because there was little for us to say, but because we couldn&#8217;t understand each other. &#8220;Dah&#8221; 
Yep, that&#8217;s about the extent of russian I speak. 
Not only was there a language barrier between both of us, but between her, the driver, and I as well. It was a three way game of charades. Our huffs, puffs, and eye rolls were the only thing to get this tour on the road again. 

Long story short&#8230;four hours, three buses, two train rides, five metro changes, and a marathon and a half later, we missed both castings!!! 

"How many models does it take to go the scenic route?!"
-TWO

PS&#8230;My new best friend is my Greek cell phone! (this will be my lifeline to phone a friend for directions. AKA my agent)
PSS&#8230;can someone help translate&#8230;

A Russian, Greek, and American, oh my!


I’m late! I’m late! Im Late for my very first casting!

My sense of direction isn’t something I brag about, nor do I rely on the lack thereof in any circumstance. I get about wonderfully with my navigation system, phone, map quest, and when worse comes to worse, asking someone along the way. There was no worries about losing my way, until I got lost in a foreign country with no navigation system, phone, map quest, or English speaking person to ask along the way.

I’m all about overcoming your weaknesses, but honestly, at least one of the previously used mechanisms could’ve been spared for my first time EVER on the public transit systems in Greece! Right?

Directions given to me were as follows,

"Move to right immediate out of apartment. Take bus 154/A4/B4/171/A3 or B3 and get off at "Agios Dimitrios. Get off bus and to right the metro you take Agios Dimitrios to metemorfisi. Then follow directions on map attached." (don’t forget this is the English translation, the street signs however, aren’t so generous)

Julia, who just arrived from Istanbul, and I had to blindly figure our way throughout greece to get to a couple of castings. With such general directions, as stated above, lost was an understatement. I couldn’t help but ask myself the same question over and over inside my head,
“How many models does it take to go the scenic route?!”
And scenic it was! Our tour, for two, even included a side street pullover emergency cigarette break for the bus driver. Julia and I, the ONLY 2 passengers on the bus, sat there saying nothing. Not because there was little for us to say, but because we couldn’t understand each other. “Dah”
Yep, that’s about the extent of russian I speak.
Not only was there a language barrier between both of us, but between her, the driver, and I as well. It was a three way game of charades. Our huffs, puffs, and eye rolls were the only thing to get this tour on the road again.

Long story short…four hours, three buses, two train rides, five metro changes, and a marathon and a half later, we missed both castings!!!

"How many models does it take to go the scenic route?!"
-TWO

PS…My new best friend is my Greek cell phone! (this will be my lifeline to phone a friend for directions. AKA my agent)
PSS…can someone help translate…

Thanks a Frappe?

"It&#8217;s a Frappe."

I needed coffee badly, and I needed it to be strong! I knew I wasn&#8217;t going to be able to go to my local Starbucks and get my usual light Iced double Grande non-fat chai tea latte. So I settled for the neighborhood corner bakery. 

"Eh, no Americans don&#8217;t usually like it,  but here da Greeks like it because&#8230;ah&#8230;how do you say it? My English very bad! Keep you wake all day." 

His English good, my Greek ZERO! 

"I&#8217;ll take it!" 

I think It&#8217;s going to take more than one Greek Frappe to get the acquired taste. 
Ps&#8230;we&#8217;re only taking a break my light Iced Double Grande Non-fat Chai Tea Latte!

Thanks a Frappe?

"It’s a Frappe."

I needed coffee badly, and I needed it to be strong! I knew I wasn’t going to be able to go to my local Starbucks and get my usual light Iced double Grande non-fat chai tea latte. So I settled for the neighborhood corner bakery.

"Eh, no Americans don’t usually like it, but here da Greeks like it because…ah…how do you say it? My English very bad! Keep you wake all day."

His English good, my Greek ZERO!

"I’ll take it!"

I think It’s going to take more than one Greek Frappe to get the acquired taste.
Ps…we’re only taking a break my light Iced Double Grande Non-fat Chai Tea Latte!

Day one consisted of cramped airplanes, loud foreigners, and a lack of wifi.
I&#8217;ve been jet-lag before, but this is a complete 180! 
At which time I would usually be getting up and having my morning cup of coffee, is now my evening cocktail hour. 
In an attempt to get water, not coffee or a cocktail, I found myself in an electronic store! I made it look like I really was trying to end up in the Greek version of Best Buy. Turns out my temporary computer doesn&#8217;t have a web camera. And navigating was near to impossible, because all the signs look Greek to me! (no pun intended)
I finally gave in to buying water at a street mart. My guess was a random clear plastic bottle with clear liquid inside. I passed with hydrating colors!

My next task was to get food. In previous experiences, I&#8217;ve happened to buy interestingly not so delicious foods! My lack of sleep started kicking in and the sun started setting, so I gave in and decided to go with the toast and jam provided to me back at the models studio. 
I failed dehydratingly with the toast and Greek version of Nutella! 
After my version of a midnight fiesta, I wake with the regrets of not stashing the awful looking airplane food for later. 
Note to self&#8230;doggy bags are my new best friends

Day one consisted of cramped airplanes, loud foreigners, and a lack of wifi.
I’ve been jet-lag before, but this is a complete 180!
At which time I would usually be getting up and having my morning cup of coffee, is now my evening cocktail hour.
In an attempt to get water, not coffee or a cocktail, I found myself in an electronic store! I made it look like I really was trying to end up in the Greek version of Best Buy. Turns out my temporary computer doesn’t have a web camera. And navigating was near to impossible, because all the signs look Greek to me! (no pun intended)
I finally gave in to buying water at a street mart. My guess was a random clear plastic bottle with clear liquid inside. I passed with hydrating colors!

My next task was to get food. In previous experiences, I’ve happened to buy interestingly not so delicious foods! My lack of sleep started kicking in and the sun started setting, so I gave in and decided to go with the toast and jam provided to me back at the models studio.
I failed dehydratingly with the toast and Greek version of Nutella!
After my version of a midnight fiesta, I wake with the regrets of not stashing the awful looking airplane food for later.
Note to self…doggy bags are my new best friends

I’m one to take to the paper in such a way only junkies, users, and abusers would understand.

Some take to their pillow, the bottle, the pipe, the high…

I stride straight for papers, pencils, laptops, and keyboards

And I inhale, swallow, and absorb every last piece of insecurity, uncomfortableness,

vulnerability, uncertainty, uneasiness 

and write it like it’s the remedy to cure all of it!!!

i lost my voice 

my fingers froze

i could sit there with them all lined up and ready to go

placed on keys A S D F J K L ;

but then……SILENCE!

It wasn’t the light beaming from my screen

It wasn’t the lack of inhibiting creativity around me

But, rather, me

yep, just me

i lost it somewhere in between trying to quiet the voices inside my head and losing control of the influences that got them talking

thank you to all those uncontrollable thoughts and events that take place in life because if it weren’t for you bastards that bound me down to begin with,  then i wouldn’t be breaking free from the shackles that were sucking me deeper into infinite abyss.

This is my first recorded piece of writing. Along with the recording is music made for me by my dear friend Dominique. More to come, and I hope you enjoy this one 

The “ish” of the Wish

There’s nothing I’ve wanted more than to have the life everyone dreams of.

The impression of living a dream has changed year to year,

But it never hinders my desire to attain “the dream”

One year it may be where I want to live,

And the next it may be what I want to drive.

No matter what or where I am,

There is always something for me to dare to dream for.

Is there ever a place where people feel the satisfaction of accomplishment?

And in that moment in time, is it always bound to skip the finish line, and jump to the start of another feat they’ve yet to beat?

I want to have what they have, or what she has.

What I do have just isn’t enough and I must have more of it.

There is no way I will settle for where I am now, because settling means giving up, and I will give into this. I am better than this, and all my happiness will change as long as I have what I don’t, but so strongly desire.

In the mean time, I’m going to need this and that in order for me to get there.

No matter what, I promise once I get there, I will become happy.

The dreams of my life will come true, and no matter what, I will be happy

I will be happy

I will love

I will be loved

I am loved

But I’m not, and wait!

I have nothing of what I desire.

I’m depressed

I’m sad

I’m lonely

The drive for more always seems to shade the areas of our lives that have already become highlights.

We’ve seemed to forget where and when we got to where we are now.

But, how and why and when did this all happen?

When did I get lost along the way?

I thought I already endured the process.  

How is it that I’m still not done?

I thought this is what I always wanted?

I fought through all those tough times to get to here.

But, now I’m here, and hate where I am.

There’s no lack of motivation from my own initial breaking free from the “norm”.  Where I came from, and who I used to be is the fire that lights my way. Unfortunately, I’m stuck within the ideal of what I used to want to be, and what I used to want to have.

There it is.

It sits there.

It lies there.

It is the one thing I have always longed for

So easily available for the pick up

Not a moment more do I have to wait to reap the rewards.

 Actually no, wait.

 It already has become my reality,

And has been for quite some time.

I seemed to have forgotten this used to be “it” for me

Not a second of satisfaction and I find the fault within the dream I used to think was imperfect!

I find the “not so good enough’s” within ever nook and cranny

 It’s there

And here

And for some reason I didn’t see it before, but now I do.

There it is!

Awful!

Not good enough!

Why did I not see it then, but now the sight of it is sickening?

Unfortunately the devastation paralyzes me, and now I cant go anywhere but stay where I used to want to be, but just realized it wasn’t!

I wanted to be here, and now here I am, and I’ve exhausted myself, but still want something else.

This continual fight and strive to be and have something better leaves me with nothing left to use to fuel me towards the next best thing.

The next of what?

I have yet to find of what or which that is, but I shall find it.

When I get there.

I probably won’t notice, acknowledge, reward, or congratulate myself for it,

Because I would’ve already forgotten that it use to exist as only a mere dream, and that it now is my reality.

I would have moved on and started focusing on what the new ideal is.

The past wouldn’t have mattered any longer.

All that would matter is that I’m not where I “now” want to be.

I’m not meeting the standard within my own mind.

The mind that used to think it was striving for the thing it’s already living in, but used to long for.

Fingers move

Eyes blink

Arms sway

These are things unconsciously that happen everyday

But yet I’m still not good enough.

But within my failed ideal of a functioning human being,

I succeeded beyond all failures

If I was granted a wish

A wish

A wish

A what

A what

And what is this and what does it mean and how precise do I have to be and what does it entail?

Does the grammar matter?

If I misspell a word, would I be granted something completely opposite of what I tried to imply?

What if I don’t enunciate well enough on the parts that matter more?

A wish

A wish

What does that mean?

This wish would change my life forever

Forever forever forever forever

What is forever?

Sometimes my forever is within

The hour,

The Day,

The Minute, and seconds of my present.

 

A wish that will last forever

A wish

Forever…

The pressure is too much and it makes me forget

But then there’s the anger and frustration levels that significantly increase because I long so much so to wish I could have a wish ever second, minute, hour, and day to have a wish to be granted for me to change my life forever.

But now I don’t

Never have

Maybe never will…

Done

Done

Done

Fucked fucked up

I cant,

It’s all too much

Too much to think about

My mind blanks

The moment of calm gives me temporary satisfaction

Until suddenly the storm blows in and the presence of my life is within the split seconds I sit there and try to figure out what the fuck I want

Yesterday I wanted this

And this morning I thought I wanted that,

But now that’s not it.

Now,
Here,

Right at this moment,

I have no idea what the differences are between this, that, and the others

Gibberish,

Foolish, Abolish,

Punish, Anguish, Banish,

Perish, Childish,

Vanish,

Sluggish, Rubbish, Blemish,

Feverish, Outlandish,

Devilish, nightmarish, Foolish, selfish, sheepish, amateurish….

Without The “ish” of all these words,

Is what I wish NOT to be? 

The Blue Collar Worker

Four years ago I moved away from home. My parents let this “Asia bird” fly the coup. They hoped they taught her enough of what she’d need to know in the real world, and that she’d be just fine.

 

My parent’s gift was to provide their children with the necessary tools to use in certain situations. I have used them all, and many times gone back to old ones, and also developed new ones.

 

I’m attempting to write more, share more, and in doing so I also face one of my greatest fears; judgment and acceptance. I’m sharing more, and hope those that read my writing have an impact on a deeper level.

 

I’ve been hungry and had little reserve to spend aimlessly. (And yes, food is in the budget) sometimes I’m hungry, but don’t have the money…so whenever I have leftovers, I always take them home with me. Even when I could save them for myself for later…I never hesitate to share…

 

 Al is a blue-collar worker I met stumbling through the subway today.

 I had half a sandwich leftover from dinner. I hauled it around New York all night, getting whiffs of the Ham and Brie arbitrarily. My food budget was gone, and I needed something to eat later. But when I saw him, I didn’t think twice! I approached him…

 

I smiled, said hi, and with no eye contact or hesitation, this was his response,

 

             "I’m not a bum ma’am,

             I’m just really tired.

     I’ve worked 12hour days straight

             For as long as I can remember.

             I’m not a bum ma’am,

             You know, I really do got a house and family

             And someone has to do it.

             It’s just something you’ve gotta do.

     I’m not a bum. I’m not a bum.”

 

 He continued to mumble to himself and pace back and forth, and in a subtle attempt, I tried to offer him my sandwich.

It was after I offered forward the bag, when he made eye contact with me, and continued to try to convince me he wasn’t homeless. But this time, he was no longer mumbling, but rather raising his voice and yelling.

 

 I started to get a little afraid and worried about what to do if his yelling escalated toward something else. A second later, I couldn’t control the words that came from my mouth.

 

"You know, I’m not a bum either, but sometimes I get very hungry and don’t have money to buy food. So, homeless or not, everyone needs to eat. I’ve already had half, and you can have the other."

 

 He paused, looked at me puzzled, and I asked him his name. It was Al. I wished him well, and then I walked away, listening to him yelling at himself and convincing himself that he wasn’t a bum.

 

 The significance of a “hello” is more than most know…

 

 He and I fed each other more than food could ever offer.

 

I woke this morning to a singing bird
I wondered if it even cared 
if it was, or wasn&#8217;t heard

My thoughts become words
As I longed for them to be heard 
And to sound as beautiful as a birds

My fingers translate my emotion 
As they come from every direction. 
I try to stop or slow the commotion

In which case, fingers move faster
You&#8217;re my only prevention of a disaster
Write them, release them, I&#8217;m the asker
Pleading for you to take me to my thereafter 

I&#8217;ve never been able to feel the
complete underwater submerssion
of joy for too long

The wave rushes over,
then it washes away.
It&#8217;s here, then gone
It&#8217;s gone, then here
I&#8217;m still trying to figure the pattern 
Of all these ups and these downs

With no form of routine
And my life completely unforeseen 
I&#8217;ve no choice but to wean 

Emotions, you are my only cover
Sheltering me from the acid rain
That falls from deep within my own vain

Only I can hear you 
The sound of you is piercing
Shattering my fragile emotions

Glittering shards of insecurities
Falling perfectly and cutting unnecessary ties
I let go of those lies
And now gone, 
Bluer are my skies 

I woke this morning to a singing bird
It&#8217;s beautiful song was more than heard
But inspired my every single word&#8230;

I woke this morning to a singing bird
I wondered if it even cared
if it was, or wasn’t heard

My thoughts become words
As I longed for them to be heard
And to sound as beautiful as a birds

My fingers translate my emotion
As they come from every direction.
I try to stop or slow the commotion

In which case, fingers move faster
You’re my only prevention of a disaster
Write them, release them, I’m the asker
Pleading for you to take me to my thereafter

I’ve never been able to feel the
complete underwater submerssion
of joy for too long

The wave rushes over,
then it washes away.
It’s here, then gone
It’s gone, then here
I’m still trying to figure the pattern
Of all these ups and these downs

With no form of routine
And my life completely unforeseen
I’ve no choice but to wean

Emotions, you are my only cover
Sheltering me from the acid rain
That falls from deep within my own vain

Only I can hear you
The sound of you is piercing
Shattering my fragile emotions

Glittering shards of insecurities
Falling perfectly and cutting unnecessary ties
I let go of those lies
And now gone,
Bluer are my skies

I woke this morning to a singing bird
It’s beautiful song was more than heard
But inspired my every single word…