There were a number of unfortunate events last night within the models studio.
I think I’ll start by telling you the root of all evil was tea. Julia wanted late afternoon tea, of course, but didn’t quite know how to use our 500 year old stove.
Provided to us prior to our move-in was one pot, a few plates, 5 forks, two spoons, a garlic crusher, two mugs, aaaand one water glass. Where they computed the amount of dishes to supply for 3 people is beyond me! But I’ve made the assumption the pot, plates, forks, spoons, mugs, garlic crusher, water glass, aaaand stove were bought at the same time. Our not-so- modern 500 year old appliances, specifically the stove and pot, weren’t going to make the water boil. She asked me for some help. Walking over there, I couldnt help but keep asking myself the same question, “How many models does it take to make a cup of tea?
I was pretty certain my handywoman skills were enough to figure out this fine antique piece of shit.
I tried all the following…
Filled the pot with tea cup sized portion
Set pot on rusty, black, and brown stove burner
Flipped One switch up… Waited…nope!
Another switch up…waited…nope!
And vice versa…waited…NOPE!
(And yes, just in case you were wondering, we did both stand there starring at the water for quite some time in silence waiting for it to boil)
Unfortunately I failed! (Sorry Dad) <he’s the best handyman in the whole wide world>
When we thought all hope for tea was lost…Eureka!
I happened to find an old electric tea kettle in the closet. Lucky for us it was only about 200 years old.
Finally! Julia would get to proceed with her late afternoon tea ritual…
Or so I thought..
After all my hard efforts,
I decided to lay down on my bottom bunk. Which from here on out, Is my new afternoon ritual. (I felt left out without one in my agenda too)
Zip zap caaaaboooom!!!!!
(I was going to use lady robotic voice here to translate Julia’s scream for you, but Russians sound the same)
“Ah wah wuz zat?!”
”I think that was your tea kettle”
My natural reaction to chaos and disaster is to call for help. I blindly sorted through my things to find my brand spankin’ new Greek cellular. Miraculously I didn’t need the phone translated, and dialed Kate’s number.
Kate is our manager/Grecian mother/ agent/ translator/ navigation system/aaaaand 24 hour emergency contact.
(Just as a quick reminder, All names have been changed to protect the identities of the people named)
I threw the phone to Julia, telling her that it’s her tea kettle, so she needs to fix it. Obliviously I threw it to her in the dark. Now just so you know…All my previous experience in sports came into play at that very moment, and I hit her in the FACE!!!
(nah, just kidding…sounded more dramatic, but it was really just ever so slightly tossed perfectly into her lap)
“ah, key-ate! Zee power eeze out! Aye don know how eat happen!”
Pfff… Of course she did! It was for her damn tea!
Listening to the pathetic explanation, I realized it was probably because the girls didn’t have lady robotic voice from the itranslate app to help relay their conversation. (Like a good roomie, I gave Julia the benefit of the doubt)
I decided it was time for a professional to handle the situation, so I stepped up to the challenge.
“Hi Kate. So Julia plugged the electronic tea kettle into a socket that already had five other plugs in the extension cord, and set it on top of the stove. And the stove was on.”
After the breathtaking finale of tea kettle fireworks….we had no electricity, water, or electrician for 12 hours!
So, “How many models does it take to make a cup of tea?”
Julia hasn’t had any tea for a week…
This was the man Julia bought her tea from at the Farmer’s Market
Moral of the story…
Tea is not my cup of coffee!